Monddood & Narcissism Unveiled
Book & Podcast

Monddood - Escaping a Narcissist

In Monddood – Escaping a Narcissist, I share my personal journey. For eight years, I was trapped in a destructive relationship full of physical and psychological abuse. As both a therapist and survivor, I recount how I ultimately managed to escape, rediscover myself, and heal—and why I felt compelled to tell this story.

‘My husband thought it was normal that I was beaten almost every day.’

Did you know I had a toxic relationship with my son’s biological father? He suffered from narcissistic personality disorder and manipulated me so severely that I lost myself. I was physically abused to the point that I stared death in the face multiple times, but I was also subjected to horrific psychological abuse. Sometimes he would love me intensely, and then suddenly hate me. This constant fluctuation left me physically and emotionally scarred. I had to flee for my own safety and that of my child.

It’s bizarre that, as a therapist, I found myself in such a situation. Yet, this experience allows me to deeply empathize with what my clients go through in similar circumstances.

I notice that the people around my clients, just like those in my own life at the time, often don’t understand. I also hear from clients that they didn’t feel heard by my colleagues or the police. I experienced the same during my own search for help and the many times law enforcement had to intervene. This led to further isolation—for me, and as I hear, for many clients as well. I was nearly dead before I finally realized he was never going to change.

Many people end up in relationships with individuals who hit, belittle, or otherwise subject them to emotional and physical abuse. I wrote this book to describe what it’s like to live in such a hell for eight years. What I describe defies imagination, yet it all truly happened.

What is it like to have a child with a narcissist? Why is it so difficult to leave? Silenced is not just a chilling autobiographical story and a gripping page-turner; the book also contains a section with clear explanations about narcissistic abuse and how to escape it, research among other victims, and the checklist “Is My Partner a Narcissist?”

In the Netherlands alone, it’s estimated that there are one million people with narcissistic personality disorder. They often cause immense suffering, especially in long-term relationships. That’s why I wrote this book: to convince victims to break free as soon as possible and begin healing from their trauma. For the general reader, Silenced is a suspenseful thriller that immerses you in the bizarre world of a narcissist who considers it completely normal for his wife to be beaten almost daily. The psychological abuse, my loneliness, and the stalking after I fled leave an indelible impression.

Hundreds of donors contributed via crowdfunding to make this book possible. I received emotional and grateful stories from men, women, (adult) children, and family members of narcissists. These messages confirm for me that Monddood can mean something truly important to many people. Monddood is available in all (online) bookstores, but you can also order the book directly through this website. An English version will follow soon.