Therapy & Services
Couples Therapy
EFT, or Emotionally Focused Therapy, is a proven and effective form of couples therapy that focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners. This approach is grounded in the science of attachment and the power of emotions in human relationships.
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The Basics of EFT Couples Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed in the 1980s by Canadian psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson. She discovered that many relationship issues stem from insecure attachment patterns between partners. Instead of focusing on communication skills or solving practical problems, EFT looks primarily at the underlying emotions and needs within the relationship.
EFT assumes that partners connect through their deepest desires for safety, security, and recognition. When these fundamental needs aren’t met, patterns such as distance, conflict, or withdrawal often emerge. Through therapy, partners learn to recognize these patterns, understand where they come from, and work together to build a closer, safer relationship.
How Does EFT Couples Therapy Work?
EFT involves several clear phases and steps that provide deeper understanding, connection, and change within the relationship. The process usually follows these stages:
1. Identifying Negative Patterns
In the first phase, the therapist helps to make recurring patterns in your relationship visible. These are often automatic responses, such as criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, or attacking, which arise when partners feel hurt, afraid, or alone. By recognizing these patterns, you create space to look at them together.
2. Exploring Emotions
The second phase focuses on exploring the emotions beneath these patterns. Often, these are vulnerable feelings, such as fear of abandonment, the desire to be seen, or insecurity. The therapist supports both partners in expressing these deeper emotions, fostering greater understanding and empathy.
3. Building New Connections and Positive Interactions
When partners better understand each other's feelings and needs, they can develop new ways to connect and respond to each other. In this phase, you'll practice expressing desires, showing vulnerability, and offering support. This leads to greater safety in the relationship and helps break negative patterns.
4. Consolidating Change
Finally, it’s important to anchor the insights and new ways of relating into everyday life. The therapist helps partners recognize setbacks and find solutions together when old patterns resurface.
During sessions, the therapist works with concrete examples from the couple’s daily life. The therapist regularly provides feedback on what is happening between partners, creating insight into the pattern. This opens up space to practice new ways of responding and connecting together.
Who Is EFT Couples Therapy For?
EFT can be used for a wide range of relationship issues, such as:
- Recurring arguments or unresolved conflicts
- Feelings of distance, loneliness, or misunderstanding within the relationship
- Loss of trust, for example after infidelity
- Issues with intimacy or sexuality
- Major changes or stress, such as having children, illness, or loss
This method is suitable for couples of all ages, backgrounds, and orientations. Even if your relationship has been under pressure for a long time, or previous therapy hasn’t been effective, EFT can offer a fresh perspective.
Want More Information or to Get in Touch?
Would you like to know if EFT couples therapy fits your situation? Feel free to contact us for a free introductory conversation or more information about the process. EFT can help you reconnect and move forward with greater understanding and trust.
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